Things to Chat About on Your First Date
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Things to Chat About on Your First Date
A lot of dating experts and pick up artists have covered this topic before, and they’ll tell you a lot of nonsense like “follow her lead”, “don’t talk about yourself”, and “take the square root of the number of times she talked first and divide it by pi and THAT’s how you should know when you should chat to her”
Like, holy molly, chatting on your first date really shouldn’t be that complicated!
If a girl agreed to hang out with you it’s because you’ve chatted to her enough that SHE feels comfortable enough to maintain a prolonged interaction with you.
And if she feels comfortable enough to hang out with you for a few hours it’s because YOU DO have enough to chat about since you’ve obviously talked to her before the date.
Chat about stuff she mentioned over text so you guys can actually elaborate on it in person and turn it into a full-blown conversation. That conversation will certainly lead to another topic and it’ll naturally flow from there,
A lot of guys tell me that they have interesting stuff to chat about, but they just don’t know how to transition into those topics when they are out with a girl.
Hey, when you feel like you need to go to the toilet, you just go to the toilet and do IT. No preparation, no warm-up. Nothing! It doesn’t have to flow.
If you are talking about dogs, but you suddenly think of a cool theory you read about, just start chatting about it, explain it to her if she has no idea what you’re talking about and so on. You get the point.
Avoid interviewing the girl
Err, what do you do for fun, where do you go to school, where do you work, do you have a dog, do you like it, what kind of dog is it? OMG! STFU already!!!
Nobody likes to be interviewed on a date when the whole purpose is to have fun and relax, right? Even I get triggered when I go on dates with girls and they start to interview me.
Just start by asking her a question or 2 and letting the conversation and chat flow from there. Instead of asking more questions you should make statements and share your opinions.
Conversations with a girl and conversations, in general, shouldn’t be THAT difficult or scary, I mean think about it like this, you literally have conversations every single day when you interact with people and you’ve had millions of conversations chatting to people throughout your life up until this point, so how bad can you really be at having a conversation with a girl.
There’s no difference in the dynamic, the only difference is that you’re too stuck in your head and psyching yourself out about it just because it’s a hot girl!
Besides, girls will willingly make the conversation flow on a date because they don’t want it to be awkward either, so the odds are heavily stacked in your favour. like I said earlier, stop overcomplicating this stuff.
Mention your hobbies and interests and then ask her about hers
This one is pretty simple, an easy way to do this is to take whatever you or her are currently talking about and connect it to a hobby or interest you like to do.
This way it’s a more natural addition to the conversation and doesn’t come off as you talking about yourself. From there, the conversation is typically pretty organic and you can easily ask her about her hobbies or interests if she doesn’t begin to chat about them herself at that point.
Bonus tip: Make sure you wear a nice outfit that she’ll make a comment about. This way you make your clothes an easy conversation starter and she’ll perceive you as more sophisticated and interesting.
I actually figured this trick out from going out to bars, girls would always comment on the accessories I’d be wearing since they stand out and are unique.
When you first start having a conversation with a girl, it’s usually the same small talk chit chat they’ve heard a hundred times before, but you need to get away from that boring stuff ASAP!
When you start chatting about deeper topics, it’s probably going to be far more fun for you and it will start creating a connection between you both.
You will also figure out who this person REALLY is and as you grow older and gain more experience, you will be able to recognize patterns in human behaviour and fairly accurately assess someone’s personality without needing much information, but you can do that only once the other person starts sharing their beliefs and hinting at their values.
When a girl tells you where she works, ask her if that’s her real passion. When she tells you what’s her major, ask her about what fascinated her about that programme. See what I mean?
Don’t talk to basic women
If you’re out on a date with a girl whos’ not very interesting, doesn’t have a lot going on, and doesn’t have anything else to offer other than her looks alone, then it might be difficult to hold a conversation with her.
This is why I advise going for girls that are not only physically attractive but also mentally attractive. Girls that have stuff going on, have real passions, hobbies, and interests, and who have WAY more to offer than just their looks.
These girls are infinitely more fun to chat to AND keeping conversation with them will be really easy because they’re an interesting person to begin with and they have a lot to say.
Make callbacks to things you teased her about over text
This one is simple and should probably be step 1 further back in this article, but I just thought about it and I’m only doing one take here, so stuff it, it’s step five!
Teasing is an important aspect of the interaction and you NEED to establish that flirty vibe on the first date to make sure she stays interested in you, so an easy way to do this is to just bring up whatever you teased her about over text and tease her about it in person.
In-person, it’ll have a greater impact and will establish that flirty vibe in person which will only make her like you more.
And since already teased her about it over text, it’s totally natural for you to bring it up in person and make your interaction a lot more playful and eventually, romantic. And that’s it.
I told you this stuff wasn’t too complicated.
In summary: Don’t overcomplicate dating. Just start talking. Avoid interviewing her. Mention your hobbies and interests and then ask her about hers.
Dig deep. Make sure you wear a nice outfit that she’ll make a comment on. Don’t chat to boring women and remember to make call backs to things you teased her about over text.
Guys, you’ve got this, now go kick some goals!