Is it Just Infatuation or Real Love?
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At the start of your new romance, the early stages can be quite hard to navigate. You’re thinking you’ve finally met the person of your dreams. They are attractive and just amazing! Soon after, you may-well even start to imagine what it could be like to spend the rest of your life with this fabulous man or woman. Although that little voice in your head keeps reminding you that, is this real love or more of an infatuation?
Are you simply swept up in a wave of chemistry, lust and romance?
Do you truly love this person?
When it comes to love vs infatuation, it can be difficult to tell the difference. In particular if the two of you haven’t as yet spent a great deal of time together. Both of these feelings can be incredibly powerful that can leave you with gorgeous tummy flutters when you’re together. Even though love and infatuation can actually feel the same way, they are in fact two very different things altogether.
So, how can two love birds really tell the difference? Compare your relationship to the six following signs to see where you’re really at.
You can be yourself around them
Naturally, you’ll be wanting to look your best when you start any new relationship. You’ll go to great lengths to look impeccable and highlight your physical attributes whenever you are together.
The same goes for when you’re engaged in conversations together, you’ll make a special effort to let your charm and good humour shine through. I’m not saying that you need to put on a special act as such, but many people will try to amplify their greatest attributes as a means of suppressing qualities that may be seen as less desirable.
When it’s true love, you should start to notice that you’re able to let go a bit, let your guard down. You won’t worry about how bad your jokes are, no matter how weird, or be overly concerned if you look terrible in the morning.
If it’s more than just an infatuation, you shouldn’t be too concerned that they may think anything less of you when you’re not at your best. People who confuse love over infatuation tend to sub-consciously hold themselves back or put too much effort into looking good.
If it’s true love, let your true self shine through.
Do you feel the need to be constantly next to this person?
It’s typically quite obvious when someone is infatuated with someone else. They can’t wipe the smile off their face, they keep talking about all the sex their having and those tummy butterflies are still there. All of which is great! Infatuation is closely aligned with passion, lust and excitement. You’ll probably feel a constant need to be sharing physical moments with him or her as often as possible.
Ask yourself this question; would they be the first you would call if you’re having a bad day, or are you still concerned about possibly burdening them with your problems? If so, it’s likely that the love factor is still evolving.
Do You feel safe with this person? Then it’s probably love
Love is something that involves patience. You’ll know when you’re truly in love when you feel like your partner is very supportive of the good times and through the rough patches too. You’ll feel comfortable opening up about your dreams and fears. When you’re together, and in their presence, everything feels great, and the negative and bad things that may be happening in your life don’t seem so bad when they are around you.
You know that you’re on to a good thing whenever you feel content in their company.
Are you overthinking the relationship or questioning their feelings? It’s probably an infatuation.
Love is a two-way street. Whereas an infatuation is usually one-sided. If your mind is dwelling on whether or not they are into you and if they are as committed to the relationship as you are, it’s likely you’re infatuated and not in love. Are you over-thinking the relationship? Can’t decide what text message to send them or you find yourself waiting impatiently for a text message to come through?
If you’re feeling insecure about the relationship itself and are feeling insecure about how they are feeling towards you, then it’s quite likely love hasn’t arrived just yet
Can you count on them in a crisis?
Let’s say you needed a lift to the mechanics or needed something to be picked up urgently from the shops or worse still, you were involved in a medical emergency. Who would you call first to help out? If they are the first person who comes to mind, and you know that you’ll be greeted with warm, supportive and comforting gestures, then you have indeed found love.
On the other hand, if some type of crisis were to occur and they feel like it’s too much to deal with, then you’re still in the infatuation phase of the relationship. Love stays the course of just about any situation and neither person should be scared when problems come up or support in needed.
Is your relationship more about physical interaction?
Is there a huge component of sex involved in your relationship? Would you just prefer to hook up every time you see each other rather than going out? Do you both take the time to chat and discuss things right after a physical interaction or is it difficult or hard to discuss “real issues” outside of the bedroom?
Do you normally choose sex over things like romantic dates, catching up with friends, sharing hobbies or meeting friends and families, or is sex always part of all your get-togethers? If you are finding these patterns are part of the way you spend time together, then you’re still very much in the infatuation zone.
As important as sex is with any relationship, if it’s true love, it shouldn’t be the only central focus. There’s often a fine line between establishing infatuation or true love between couples. If it’s true love, sex should not be the main course but more of a side dish.
If your relationship involves both friendship as well as sex, then it’s love!
Most of us have dated someone where it turns out to be more in the friend zone. However, there’s no spark unfortunately. On the other side of the equation, you may have dated someone and just can’t stop thinking or dreaming about them. Even still, there’s just no emotional connection with the relationship.
Although, if you’re lucky enough that the both of you complement each other with both friendship and intimacy, lady luck has come your way.
The 3-month mark
A guide you can use with your new partner to determine how things are truly tracking with the relationship is once you hit the 3-month mark of being together. Are your feelings just growing and growing and is it mutual? Is the spark just getting brighter and brighter? Does the sex and intimacy just keep getting better and better, and is the overall connection still stronger than ever?
If you are nodding your head to these questions, then there is a very strong argument that you may have found real love and there is little debate as to whether it's just an infatuation. Real love and real chemistry are difficult to find, so make the most of this great connection. So, make sure you nurture the relationship so you are both meeting each other's needs now and into the future.